Steady Embrace

today is the final day of the main

big area, whole side of chest

dark burgundy now

next is “the boost” a few more days to go

it takes strength, more than one kind

to drive yourself and undress

yes, I embrace this

I choose it

I walk into it

before my final chemo

a huge NO

a part of me was done and did not want to do that to myself again

i remember lying on my ND’s table as we inquired, asking my body, do you need one more?

it was neutral. it was not clear.

i did have a choice, even if it felt like i didn’t

I chose to move forward. i was in it, i would complete it

trust

embracing the no, the resistance

encompassing with love and courage

not overriding, ignoring, dismissing

for me it is not powering through

rather it is

choosing to embrace

honoring the resistance

opening to receive and harmonize with the “treatment”